I Have Writer's Block It Seems.

My cover letter isn't singing to me at all. I'll call it a night and work on it when I get home tomorrow. Sometimes taking time away from a project is the best thing you can do.

I Can Only Conclude I'm Paying Off Karma At A Vastly Accelerated Rate.

My assignments lately:

Friday: go do library work. Trust me this is my favorite school assignment.
Monday: be a theater teacher. I helped students rehearse skits and dances. This is a very fun class to work.
Tuesday: be an advanced English teacher. AP English and Senior Writing are classes full of nice mature kids.

I'll end up with Freshmen Algebra for Friday I'm sure.

Are The Olympics Finally Over Yet?

Except for a few minutes of the closing ceremony I haven't watched any of the Turin Olympics. I simply didn't care. Thankfully regular television will occur soon.

Oh, can we be done with Bode Miller now. Overrated!

CAS: The 07 Sentra With The 3 Inch Heel Option

In Chicago I found a preproduction new for 2007 Nissan Sentra. It gets a new, more powerful and efficient 2.0 liter 4 cylinder engine, side air bags, 6 speed manual tranny, and some trick interior pieces such as cooled glovebox and a sunvisor that holds 8 CDs.

The interior wasn't visible through the slightly tinted windows. Nissan put cloth on it to hide it from prying eyes. This is a pre-production model after all. Nissan stylists are still tinkering a bit.

This exterior styling is firm though. It was the result of CEO Ghosen's emergency order to halt development and restyle the exterior to be less ugly. If this is the less ugly look what the heck did it look like before? It looks better in person than in the pic, but the squashed Maxima edgy stealth fighter look of recent Nissans needs to go.

The blonde attendant was very informative. Some 'booth babes' [industry term, not mine] only read from the script. She knew her product very well. Unfortunately I had difficulty paying attention to the car with her there. Those boots, are they 3 inch heels? Wowzer. Yes that leather jacket fit her well. Sadly I doubt she comes with the car. I wish she did. *cough* Did I say that out loud?

Friday Quote

Oddly prophetic and appropriate given certain things lately. Yet part of the message provided is so difficult to live up to. Yet part of the message is so true.

"… and the war had paused, suddenly and unexpectedly. All around us, it was as if the universe were holding its breath, waiting. All of life can be broken down into moments of transition, or moments of revelation. This had the feeling of both. G’Quan wrote ‘There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way’. The war we fight is not against powers or principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain."
- Z'Ha'Dum

Am I Daniel Jackson Or Col. O'Neill?

I note it took a TIE-BREAKER question for me to get these results. Personality-wise I'm more like the archeologist Daniel Jackson, but let's be honest: Richard Dean Anderson as Jack O'Neill is far more cool. My thought processes do wander at times as I think, "Screw it let's blow it up! Give me the big gun please."

Since it was a tie-breaker I now have to wonder: Amanda Tapping vs. Claudia Christian. Decisions decisions. Quiz courtesy of Stare Decisis.

You scored as SG-1 (Stargate). You are versatile and diverse in your thinking. You have an open mind to that which seems highly unlikely and accept it with a bit of humor. Now if only aliens would stop trying to take over your body. SG-1 (Stargate) 94% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 94% Serenity (Firefly) 75% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 69% Moya (Farscape) 69% Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 69% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 63% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 56% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 44% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 44% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 38% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 25% Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

Help Save Democracy.

It isn't the sexiest topic the General Assembly is evading this year, but it might be the most important. HB1009 would establish a bipartisian redistricting commission after 2010 to create political voting districts based on population and natural community boundaries. The commission is not allowed to use political voting data and incumbant addresses like they do now. Oh it would also mean the winners of the election do not create safe districts for themselves to stay in power: gerrymandering.

Since virtually all Democrats and Republicans in the Statehouse complained when this bill came out, it must be a good idea. Surprisingly the bill made it out of the House with 3 Democrat and every Republican vote. The Senate has stalled out the bill. HB1009 is assigned to the Senate Elections Committee yet hasn't gotten a hearing, much less a vote.

Here is the place where you can look up your state senator. Give them a call/letter/candygram to get them on the ball. What are they afraid of, having to work for their jobs?

One Freezing Weekend In Chicago: Part II

We're Not Worthy. We're Not Worthy.
I'm at the McCormick Convention Center for the Chicago Auto Show. I ride up the escalator and immediately discover just how much the Indy Auto Show sucks. From my spot I can tell this show covers two wings of the building. The entire Indy show could fit in one of those wings. The only reason I'm not on the floor pulling a Wayne and Garth is because I don't want security to toss me out.

At this time I start some calculations. The train back to the 'burbs leaves at 5:30 and 6:30, with the next one at 8:30. The CAG and I are supposed to have dinner together so the 8:30 train is out. If I have to walk back to the station I'll need to leave at either 4:30 or 5:30. Did I mention it is 5 degrees with a wind outside? I'll try to take the bus back.

I'm only here to see my favorites or the new vehicles that debutted in the past 2 months. This strategy should allow me to cover the entire area in a few hours.

We Don't Have That Back Home!
Chrysler has a road course inside the show. They have moving cars that you can ride in inside the building! A short straightaway, some chicanes, a slalom, and for the Jeeps a 30 foot tall hill with a creek! The line to take the rides are way too long for me. This place is extremely crowded. I can barely make it through certain sections. For some reason those crowded sections are Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, Porsche, Maseratti, the luxury/sporty brands. The stuff dreams are made of.

Quit Playing In The Cars Please.
I don't know which is worse. 1) The dorkwad who kept sitting in the one car forever and not allowing others to get in the drivers seat to see what the interior is like. 2) The unsupervised children who were getting into cars to only pump up the stereo as loud as it would go and goof off.

Sir, please get out of the car in a timely fashion. Other people are waiting. It doesn't take 5 minutes to sit with your hands on the steering wheel and do nothing. At least reach for the buttons and see how much headroom you have. Do something please. Get in one of the other Civics please. This is the only sedan with a stick shift so I want in.

Dear children, I really blame your parent for not supervising you. As kids of course you're going to think cars are toys and treat them as such. Hey I treat the cars as toys too. However if you see people waiting get out of the friggin' car! I really loved how you two said, "Hey let's see how loud this one gets!" Thank you for blasting hip-hop through VW stereos. Several of them all at once. I liked how I decided to go to another VW because some kids were in the new Golf I wanted to try out. I liked how I saw them get out. I liked how two new brats raced into the same car three steps ahead of me and tried out the stereo. I think children should be banned. I think the adult who said to you "I'll be right over there okay?" should be pistol-whipped by me.

Tomorrow I pick up the photo CD so I'll share the rest of my thoughts with pretty pictures!

I Blame The Olympics.

No new Veronica Mars for the second week in a row. I couldn't stay up for last nights Boston Legal. I hear that was an excellent episode. Yes my life revolves around a few TV shows a week.

I Like Amy Acker, But This Is Taking It Too Far!!!

You're Fred!


Which Angel character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

So Much Better Now.

In the past 36 hours I've been asleep for about 27 of them. I feel great. A shame I have to deal with screwball kids now. Perhaps I'll end up with library duty or an advanced class. I'll take anything over a freshman class or a general algebra class. These freshman need to be stuffed in lockers to knock them down a peg or two.

Death Is Welcoming Today.

The Chinese buffet I had last night is killing me. I enjoy getting up at 3 am, 4 am, 6 am, and 9 am to pray for a quick death.

I'll talk to you later if I wake up again. I'm going back to bed after I've had some oatmeal and orange juice.

One Freezing Weekend In Chicago. Part I.

The #1 purpose of the weekend was to see the Chicago Auto Show. The #2 purpose was to see a few friends. Overall I had a good time, but it had some serious negative points. Once the film gets developed and the photo-CD is in my hands I'll post of the more interesting thoughts (yes I'm old school and still use a real film camera). Expect numerous automotive posts starting Thursday or Friday.

Next Time I Should Drive Up The Night Before:
I enjoyed spending Friday night at my parents' home. A good breakfast, a happy dog dance, and 20 minutes driving time saved. Friday night I poured over the various maps I had and couldn't figure out where the LaSalle street train station was. That was the terminal my METRA train would end up at. The Auto Show's website told me bus service to the McCormick's Convention Center was available, but didn't give much in the way of detail. What routes am I looking for? The downtown detail of my best map left something to be desired. I guessed the station was on LaSalle and Cermak. If that was true it was perfect. I could walk 6 blocks east and be at the convention center.

That morning I was writing down my expected route and important times in my notebook. The plan was to get to the southwest suburbs, park at a METRA station near the CAG's apartment, and ride the train into downtown Chicago. I overslept by 30 minutes. As I wrote down the train departure times I realized I needed to go RIGHT FRAGGIN' NOW or else I would miss the train I needed. I didn't want to wait 2 extra hours.

Headwinds Do Matter:
A near 0 degree northern wind wrecked havoc with my speed. I brought my seat up a few inches so I could plant my foot to the floorboard. It wouldn't be easy to shift, but on the interstate I should NEVER be shifting at all. Even with the gas pedal floored I wasn't getting 75 mph out of the woefully underpowered truck. Don't worry the speed limit is 70 mph so I was just keeping up with traffic or at least some of it. Unless an SUV the size of an Explorer suddenly appeared in front of me, then I drafted it. I wasn't drafting intentionally. If something big blocked the wind for me suddenly the truck lurched forward with newfound power. That was scary when someone decided to cut 3 feet in front of me with no warning.

Decisions, Decisions:
Normally 80/94 sucks. Congestion, construction, and general stupidity are in abundance on 80/94 from Gary to Chicago. However on a winter weekend I should have taken it. My normal alternate route had red stoplights as far as the eye could see and the ramp I needed to get back onto the interstate was closed for construction. Had I called the CAG to explain my backcountry route she could have warned me.

Despite my stupidity I'm still on-time. Just one left turn onto the street where the train station is and I'm set. A huge Chevy Suburban blocked my view of the intersection. I don't see any oncoming traffic. INCOMING SATURN, DO NOT TURN! DO NOT TURN! That sedan has no clue how lucky he was. I was almost ready to turn right in front of him.

I arrive at the station with 3 minutes to spare.

13 Blocks Doesn't Sound That Bad.
I've only rode the METRA once before and I'm giving instructions to people who actually live in the area on how to use their own public transportation system. Didn't I do that in Paris too? Upon further review I should have asked someone in a ticket booth if they knew what bus I needed to take. Instead I looked at a map and noticed I was on Congress Ave. instead of Cermak. I was 13 blocks north of where I needed to be. I was wearing double layers, had earmuffs, and a hood on my coat. Sure it was cold, but 13 blocks would be 30 minutes max if I walked it.

Did I mention it was 5 degrees outside with a wind?

I wasn't cold, but I didn't want to stop at all. At least I was burning calories. Did I mention it was 5 degrees outside with a wind? I had no idea why one guy was washing his car with hot water. He had ice all over his car. I almost gave up before I spotted the street sign for Cermak. It took 50 minutes to cover the distance. Did I mention it was 5 degrees outside with a wind? It only took me about 5 minutes before I found a door. I seem to enjoy going down alleys that aren't shortcuts.

Once inside it only took another 5 minutes to walk to where tickets were being sold. $10 later I was going to nirvana.

Part II will be later. What an adventure to simply get there eh?

The Speech All Airline Pilots Should Give.

If the Reichschancellor ever gets into piloting wide bodies, this is the little speech he'll give to the passengers upon entering cruising altitude.

*WARNING* The audio is what makes this funny. No bad words, but do not play it too loudly if you're at work. The volume of your own laughter is up to you.

Oh Dear He Even Looks Like Me.

As seen at Frequent Citations.

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick. You're always willing to lend a helping hand. In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going. "15 seconds to showtime!"

The Muppet Personality Test

We Needed A Survey For The Obvious?

I often wonder about the use of my tax dollars to fund the obvious.

Most surveys about sex find impossibly that men have had far
more partners than women, typically two to four times as many.
...
The latest was a web-based survey of 2,065 heterosexual
non-virgins with a median age in their late 40s.

The women reported on average 8.6 lifetime sexual
partners. The men claimed 31.9.
Rather than let it go at that, Brown and his
colleagues later in the survey asked the participants to rate the truthfulness
of their response. About 5 percent said they lied. In addition, more than 10
percent said they knew their answer wasn't accurate.

I've had this many and 5 minutes later I'll admit I lied about it. If you're going to lie just stick by it. Hey since this is an anonymous web-based survey why not tell the truth. This isn't bragging at the bar with your buddies. Though if you read the article is says women weren't entirely accurate either.

Does this remind you of that conversation Dante had with his girlfriend in Clerks?

Friday Quote

Ambassador Londo Mollari: "You've misspelled this. There's no 'Y' in liberties."
Ambassador G'Kar: "Oh, go away. Repress someone else."
Ambassador Londo Mollari: "As you wish."
- The Paragon of Animals

Don't Let Homer Take This Test!

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image. On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex. You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time. Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

I Like The Marble Treatment

Light blue resume paper with a marble treatment. Nice white streaks going through it. New matching envelopes of course.

Sounds fairly conservative, but with a splash of style. What do you think?

I've Never Seen This One.

Take the quiz:
What Musical Are You?

A Chorus Line
You're A Chorus Line! You're wild, kinky, and love dance. Music is your life. You've had a dramatic past, but then again, who hasn't?

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Not Quite The Job Creation Program I Had In Mind.

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
--William Shakespeare "Richard II", Act III, Scene 2.

Luckily quail shot is the size of BBs. It is among the least leathal types of shotgun ammo out there. Since Harry Whittington, big time Austin lawyer, wasn't hit in the eye he'll likely be fine. Full of tiny holes for awhile, but fine.

"[Ranch owner Catherine Armstrong] said Whittington went to retrieve a bird he shot. Cheney and the third hunter, whom she would not identify, walked to another spot and discovered a second covey of quail.

Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," said Armstrong, who was in the car."

Yep this is an example of bad hunting etiquette. A good thing they weren't hunting deer. Deerslugs are like a homemade bazooka on Grey's Anatomy: big hole punchers!

When In Doubt Seek Outside Advice.

"15 Minute Cover Letter - write an effective cover letter right now"

I'm going to see if this book is any good. I have 5 cover letters on my computer right now, but I can't stand the introductory paragraphs. Hopefully this book will give me a few pointers before I print them off.

Can I admit that I'm simply tired of this entire situation? Tomorrow is Monday, bleh!

DING!

From a letter I received today:

Dear Jobhunter,

I bet you forgot you sent a application to us for our open legal position. We finally decided to read all the mail. Thanks for your interest in us, but we've decided to look at other people. No need to even interview you.

Have a good day.
Signed Potential Employer.

On the plus side this is only the second official ding letter I've received. Everything else appears to be in a black hole. *deep sigh*

Friday Quote

"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
- Marcus Cole - A Late Delivery from Avalon

Veronica Mars Fans I Need A Favor.

I'm at my parents' place Wednesday night helping out my dad. Afterwards after scarfing down free food the latest Veronica Mars comes on. The clarity of The Dish is amazing. I'm so used to static now it is pathetic.

Anyway I need to know what happened in one scene. The signal went out and my displeasure was so noticeable my Moan Of Doom was heard throughout the house.

Okay everyone is at the fair. Beaver Casablancas and his girlfriend, whose name I can never remember aka The Geekette, are walking around. Older brother Dick, how appropriately named, makes fun of them. Beaver has a look in his eye.

Okay what happened next? I have a few guesses, but someone please spill the beans.

1. Beaver gets mad that Dick is dissing on his girlfriend and finally tries to beats the snot out of Dick.

2. The Geekette proves she has some metal to her and beats the snot out of Dick.

3. They both sulk and retreat. Later we do see them on a laptop finding the hooker trap for Dick. Now that was funny!

4. Special Guest Star Chuck Norris enters the scene and roundhouse kicks Dick across the high school.

I think it's true love between those two. Be nice to have one happy couple on the series, but I'm convinced Rob Thomas is a disciple of Joss Whedon in that regard. Give the audience what they want and take it away brutally.

Automotive Essay: The Promised Land Part I

In yet another reason to visit the Chicago Auto Show Honda dropped a big bomb Thursday. The newest 500lb bomb was the Civic SI SEDAN concept! (WARNING: Numberous Photos. Not safe for dial-up.) Honda's popular SI has never been offered as a sedan before. The 197 horsepower 1.8 liter four cylinder, Brembo brakes, 6 speed manual transmission, and limited slip differential all appear straight from the Civic SI coupe.

Aside from the oversized wing and the carbon fiber hood I hope it makes production as is. Or at least offers a wing-delete and regular hood option. Between the recent V6/manual Accord sedan and now this SI beast it looks like Honda realizes that 4-door people might like fun toys too.

I'm not certain how closely the prices of the Civic coupes and sedans match each other, but the SI coupe starts in the mid 19's. A $20,00 near midsized sedan with nearly 200 hp, a 6 speed stick, with good handling and Honda reliability. Tasty baby!

Due to screwy happenings in Chicago and here it looks like next weekend will be any road trip I want to do. So much for seeing both the motorcylce and auto show, but we'll have a motorcycle show in town by the end of the month.

Besides I need to see the newly debuted Dodge Caliber SRT4. (WARNING: Numberous photos. Not safe for dial-up.) A hot hatch with 300 horsepower driving the front wheels only! Is Dodge nuts? Sure FWD is less expensive and lighter than all wheel drive, but 300 friggin' horsepower through the front wheels only!

Dodge better offer the regular Caliber with the large 2.4 liter with the manual or I'll be mad. I can live with only 170 horsepower, but I want the option of shifting the gears myself. So far Dodge's website shows CVT only for any engine not the new 1.8 liter four. Oh come on Dodge! I can't figure out why most companies that offer a stick simply put it on the stripped down base models only. They assume if you want a stick shift you're concerned purely with price. Cheaper base models don't need the expensive automatic, and if you're buying a more uplevel version then you'll gladly pay for the automatic. Dodge, you are the performance division of DiamlerChrysler. Make the stick available everywhere please. Show love to enthusiasts like me. I'm begging you. My ride should be fly.

Chicago is the promised land this week and next!

Automotive Essay: Stupid Commercials Part II

You're familiar with the lame Safe Auto commercial where the guy is stuck in the snow and the they imply the assisting police officer checks for his lack of auto insurance. Okay no police officer is going to check for proof of insurance to a motorist stranded in the snow. Last night I noticed the commercial was even more stupid. The car stuck in the snow is an old Plymouth Acclaim. If you watch the commercial you'll notice the badging. I saw the dorkwad look out the window towards the rear. Then he is using the hubcap to dig out the left rear tire when the cop shows up.

The Acclaim was a front wheel drive sedan. Stupid commercial makers.

You know that new Toyota RAV4 commercial where gas prices attack everyone else. You see numbers flying around and attacking cars and people. How come every other car on the road is suddenly a mid-80s large gus-guzzling GM sedan? Those marketers are so subtle.

My Next Part Time Job As A Stipper.

No time for a real post. Oh do I have some things to bitch about tell you. Or I could discuss my energy policy. Which one would you prefer?

Oh yeah I do love the song.

Your Stipper Song Is

Closer by Nine Inch Nails "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I?ve got no Soul to tell" When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy.

What Song Should You Strip To?

This Property Pending.

*grrrrrrrr* I really hate that phrase. I love urban revitalization. Old neighborhoods filled with vacant and boarded up houses. Watching people buy them and rehab those old bones. The process of bringing life to decaying inner city neighborhoods is beautiful. I see several houses I would love to have. I simply need a job to finally become a homeowner. Renovation isn't for the faint of heart, but I'm willing to do as much of the work myself that I can. I can create life from a dead house in an up and coming neighborhood.

Except other people are buying the houses I want! One ugly purple Queen Anne was covered in vines. I was incredibly disappointed last fall when I saw workmen cleaning up the place. I didn't know it was even for sale. Though depressing to see the old home not be my project I was happy to see it reclaimed from the urban graveyard. The cut lawn, new paint, repaired clapboards, and windows look great. I hope the inside is as well done. The stud walls were blank canvases to be painted upon.

Yet a nice Tudor Revival was just down the street. It was gutted, some of the brick had fallen, the porch roof needed some work. Yet so much potential existed. The Tudor could be a fantastic large home. The realtor sign had me worried, yet many similar houses in this neighborhood had been for sale for a long time. Perhaps it would scare off many people. The outside looked too decent though. I check the realtors website and see "This Property Pending." *sigh* Maybe the sale will fall apart, you never know.

I need that real job now! How many old houses will still be around when I'm finally ready to buy?

On The Road To Chicago...Maybe.

The Chicago Auto Show is starting this Friday. I'm seriously thinking of either going this weekend (11th/12th) or the following weekend (18th/19th). Anyway, if any Chicago area bloggers, of which there are a few, wish to get together for lunch, drinks, or dinner I would love to hear from you.

If you don't want to leave a comment, because I know some are annonymous bloggers and don't want your location disclosed just leave an email. If you want to go that route, Confessions does have an email account if you don't already have mine. It is theexhaustedmind at yahoo dot com. PLEASE add underscores between the words. Hopefully this spelling and format will prevent webbots from scanning the address and spamming me. I HATE spam. The sooner the President declares spamers to be a national security threat the better I'll feel.

I'm Not Sure Which Part Is Better.

I haven't posted lately on interesting search terms that got readers to Confessions. This one I must share.

"the worker sex woman in germany"

That might not be the most interesting part though. The search originated from the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Who Killed The SuperBowl?

I've never seen such a horrid SuperBowl game and related atmosphere in my life. In the first half the officiating crew sucked. I can't think of any other word to describe it. The officiating was so blatently titled for the Steelers I couldn't believe it. Seattle should have gotten that touchdown in the end zone, but they were called for pushing off. That was a tap at best and hardly flagrant. Pittsburgh didn't get into the end zone as near as I can tell. It was close, really close, but the tip of the ball didn't hit the front of the end zone line. In the third quarter the Hassleback wasn't going for a tackle and just blocked was bogus.

Going into the game I didn't really care who won the game, but after that first half of blown calls, no calls, and watching every Steeler hold the Lombardi Trophy in black & white photos and I wanted to gag! Come on NFL show some equal time between both teams. The third quarter had three Lombardi pictures with the Seahawks and that was it.

Pittsburgh played a great second half. Don't get me wrong, but they shouldn't have been up by 10 points. It should have been a 3 point game or maybe a tied game. Seattle's kicker didn't help them at all. I have no idea how Mike Holgram was managing the clock near the end of both halves. Seattle looked lost the last 2 minutes of both halves.

Speaking of a horrible atmosphere, I blame the dot com companies, Boobgate, and the Christian Coalition for killing the ads and the halftime show. Let's be honest, the Rolling Stones were awful! They were so flat it was painful to watch. No more old British acts for our halftime shows. If we must get a British act make them younger than the number of the Superbowl. Since the Superbowl is an American phenomenia can't get get a worthy American band to perform? Thanks to Boobgate women have been banned from halftime shows so it must be a male group. I'm thinking Metallica. For a SuperTestosterone football game we need an equivalent band. Or Chuck Norris and David Carridene can have a kung-fu extravaganza during halftime.

The ads were incredibly lame. Most had no bite to them at all. Aside from Budweiser few were memorable in any way. Our advertising culture is in such shock from Boobgate and farting horses they retreated into too much of a safe skit mindset. Madison Avenue, here's a hint for you: you don't have to be gross, but you can be creative and funny. Worst ad by far was the Burger King Whopperette ad. Oh...My...God...that was a train wreck to watch.

Before I forget, who on the Seahawks side suggested the song for them running onto the field be the lackadasical temposed "Bittersweet Memories?" I'm convinced ABC was going for the figure skating crowd watching ESPN.

*********
And now for some final thoughts and the all-important quotes of the night.
*spelling optional at the moment*

*Upon finding Worst Sports show on Spike TV before kickoff.*
"Wow 100 channels on cable and this is the best thing on."

"They got Aaron Nevelle to sing the National Anthem. Great this will take 10 minutes."

"Whoa, I think Aretha Franklin ate Mariah Carey."
"You can only hope that."
"I'm so blogging that."

"Yeah Aretha won't be doing a Blue Brothers movie anytime soon."
"At least no with her standing on the counter."

*deep rumbling sound and floor vibrating*
"Was that the sump pump? Please tell me that was the sump pump!"

*BUUUURRRPPPP!!!*
"OH GOD THAT'S RANK!"
"Your chili."
"Your ass!"
"Actually no it wasn't."

*during the halftime show*
"No Keith please keep your shirt on."
"Yeah the only one we want clothed more than you is Aretha."

"That isn't a can of beer that is a sample!"

I Can See This One Happening.

You will go to jail for: You were making obscene gestures in a courtroom Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

I'm Actually Normal. Are You Serious?

Courtesy of that other quiz taking fiend Robin.

Your Social Dysfunction: Normal Being average in terms of how social you are, as well as the amount of self-esteem you have, you're pretty much normal. Good on you.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.

I Think This Is My New Motto

Commander Susan Ivanova: If I'll live through this job... without completely losing my mind, it will be a miracle of biblical proportions.
Lt. David Corwin: Well, there goes my faith in the Almighty.
- A Day In The Stife

I Haven't Dated A Blond Since High School.

Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora (of Bon Jovi fame) are calling their 11 year marriage over.

Normally I would say 44 is above my age range, but for Heather Locklear I'm willing to make an exception. After being married to hard rockers Richie Sambora and Tommy Lee she might appreciate a more leisurely and intellectual person like me.

I'm Just Thinking Out Loud Here.

Major Moves, the bill that allows the Govenor Daniels to lease the Indiana Toll Road to a private company passed the House last night and moves on to the Senate. The bill will likely pass the Senate.

Last week I was reading various editorials proclaiming that roads are similar to utilities from a business point of view. I had a classmate work at the regulatory commission last year. He said you have to be pretty stupid to not make money with a regulated utility. Okay, if a road is like a utility perhaps we should treat it as such and regulate it.

This is just me thinking out and brainstorming. Okay you big brained people brainstorm with me.

Do You Have Any Interview Tips?

No I haven't been granted a job interview yet. *grumble* I'm just thinking ahead. I don't interview well. Neither do I interview often. It is a skill and one that, with practice, can be improved. My last job interview of any consequence was four and a half years ago. It didn't go well. I certainly wasn't enthusiastic about going back to the job I was burned out from and laid off from for worse hours and less money. The interview happened the morning of Sept. 11, 2001 so the interviewer wasn't really into the interview either. I assume he chalked up my unimpressive interview with the fact everyone was in shock.

I'm hoping another disaster won't occur on any days I interview. That still leaves me with with the unimpressive interview style. Part of my problem is I don't stand for BS. Please don't huff and puff up a job. Just tell me what it is like, what is expected of me, what the culture of the place is like, what sort of support system is available, benefits packages, and the salary. Just the facts please is my style.

I'm afraid I won't know enough about a employer or the area(s) of law they practice to ask intelligent questions. I'm sending out resumes to almost every want ad I see in the area. I gave up on finding the perfect job a long time ago. Now I'm looking for any job. Luckily substitute teacher allows me the option of not robbing banks so I'm not completely desperate. The attorneys interviewing a inexperienced lawyer (me) should be smart enough to know that I'm not going to be familiar with everything. Yet to be honest many areas of the law I only know about through one class in bar review. Hardly a position of strength there.

This entire experience is tiring. It wouldn't be so bad if some progress occurred. Yet I'm in the same position now as I was 3 months ago. This is something the law school brochures and books did not cover. I wish someone had told me the spring semester of my second year to just start looking for a job. Get some experience before leaving school. Hell maybe even be employed by them.

If you're still a student I don't mean to scare you, but you might want to pay attention to my mistakes.

What Would Chuck Norris Do?

Thanks to Topor Indy I've now found the coolest website on the planet: Chuck Norris Facts. As long time readers of Confessions are aware I have a Kickass Scale (TM). The supreme awesomeness of Chuck Norris places him on the Kickass Scale (TM) naturally. Before going out to the Indy Home Show last night with my parents, the Chuck Norris classic Lone Wolf McQuade was on. We watched the last part we TiVoed instead of the State Of The Union.

I'm feeling the need to have a Chuck Norris film festival at my place. Invasion USA, Missing In Action, any episode of Walker Texas Ranger, Delta Force, A Force Of One are testosterone filled roundhouse kicking must sees!

Courtesy of Chuck Norris Facts here are some facts about Chuck Norris you need to know:

"Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won."

"There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma."

"Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building."

"Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."

"When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side."

"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."

"Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one."

"An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME."

"Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum."

"Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold."

"'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA."

"Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise."

""Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard."

"In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris."

"The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off."

"Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi."

"Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover."

"Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch.""

"The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn."

I feel the need to invade Cuba now.

State Of The Union.

I didn't get home until 10:30. Did I miss anything major I need to be aware of?

Perhaps I Have More In Common With Her Than I Thought.

This will screw up the template a bit. How come it doesn't fit in the column width? Oh well. I have to say I was surprised by the results. I also copied the text so it is easier to see. Red blurry text on a dark background, who thought that up?

Which new Battlestar Galactica character are you?
Roslin! You're in charge, even though you were just a schoolteacher. You are smart and cunning, but you also take hallucinogenics, and you're going to die soon. Nevermind, you still get to boss people about!

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As found on Still Angry.