Off To A Fine Start As Usual.

I would like to thank Central Michigan for making enough mistakes to lose to Boston College. I only have you in my pool. I'm already 0-1 in what was a very winnable game.

Stupd Non-Directional Michigan team!

9/1/2006 EDIT: good commentary from DrunkenIrishMan concerning last night.

"what was with that cutsey swinging gate thing? You are down 7, in the 4th, at home, driving, good field position,and then you pull something like that. No need to be conservative, but don't go off the deep end the other way."

Things To Do Today.

1. Start an automotive blog.
2. Email Bentley and request short term test driver for evaluation.

Autoblog has a feature called In The Autoblog Garage. They get cars from manufacturers for 4 or 5 days. They write their impressions of the loaner vehicles on the blog. I love the feature as it gives in-depth reports on the car.

"So imagine our shock when Bentley not only responded to our email, but told us it would be granting our request to review the 2006 Bentley Continental Flying Spur. Man, we're still trying to get a Yaris from Toyota to review and Bentley just gave us the green light?"

I'm in the wrong business obviously.

I should elaborate for some of you. The Flying Spur is Bentley's entry level vehicle. It merely costs $180,000. I can't imagine a car costing as much as a house, but it would be nice to have for a few days.

Canal Point Grill

Yesterday was a goofy day. By dinnertime I didn't want to mess with fixing a meal and cleaning up afterwards. Besides, yesterday was a cloudy, cool, windy night. The threat of rain had a primal elemental feel to the air. It felt great and I needed to be outside.

If you want al fresco dining in the elements only two areas offer that in abundance: downtown and Broad Ripple. You'll notice my problem. I wanted to be outside, but I haven't selected any type of food. Luckily for the undecided and hungry Broad Ripple is quite walkable. Quite a few restaurant patios were packed for a Wednesday night, but a few seats were open at Canal Point Grill. I've never been there, but it looked good. Canal Point is the new name of the former Broad Ripple Seafood Shack. Why the name change? I have no idea. I think CPG sounds more professional then Seafood Shack.

I was right next to the canal. It was filled with geese and ducks quacking and honking. Can someone explain to me how Canadian Geese are a protected species? Are their visas good? This is where I need to invite braingirl sometime. She could provide a different point of view on a restaurant. Are you up for a joint review sometime braingirl? Back on point, the staff was friendly, but dangerous to each other. The hostess grabbed a menu and other items and whacked a waitress when turning around. Whoops.

The menu is naturally seafood oriented, but the other items have a island life flair to them. One of the specials was almond chicken with pineapple sauce. That sounded good. The complementary biscuits and a sugary apple butter type spread were provided. Yummy is the best word to describe them. Though a long wait, my almond chicken was worth it. The plate was large and filled with chicken, a rice bed, and green beans. The almonds and pineapple sauce make the chicken. The chicken was moist and tasty. I must learn how to cook with pineapple sauces and see if I can make my own almond chicken.

If you're looking for a place with atmosphere, good food, good service, then Canal Point Grill is a good choice. I give it a two forks up. I'm hungry again.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.

Do you smell that? It is the scent of hamburgers and hot dogs roasting on an open flame. Beautiful isn’t it? College football will be upon us soon. Cheerleaders, marching bands, drunken students and alumni, stadium traditions, and two teams battling on the gridiron. I get a warm and fuzzy feeling just thinking about it.

This leads to yet another round of college football pool, a game that vexed me terribly last year. To my defense I only had 20 minutes to research teams as I didn’t expect to play. Pick one team from every conference and a wildcard. Count up the number of wins during the season, conference championships, and bowl games. If you have the most number of wins, you win. Victory is life! I performed research this year. I wrote out a spreadsheet of every team with my predicted records. I had the number one pick baby!

My #1 was Ohio State, a legitimate threat to go 12-0 this year. Normally I would despise the Buckeyes, but I’ll root for them this year. Besides, my beloved Boilermakers will not play Ohio State this year so I can be generous with my affections. I had the last pick of Round #2 and the first pick of Round #3. I believe I picked up California (I have them at 11-1, and professionals believe a 10-2 team.) and Oklahoma (I have them at 11-1 with Athlon Sports picking them as the #1 undefeated team and SI saying 9-3.). It was either the end of Round #4 or maybe in my back-to-back Round 2-3 pick that I snared a potential 10-2 Navy team as my wildcard. Perhaps Round #4 was the Oklahoma pick as most of my companions were using Sports Illustrated predictions and a few 9 win teams are still in Round #4. A run was started on the SEC and ACC so Big 12 was ignored for a bit allowing the Sooners to drop a little if I recall correctly. With luck I have four 10-win minimum teams in my pool and a potential 9 win University of Central Florida team from Conference-USA. C-USA has one or two pretty good teams that can hang with the big boys!

Of course they’ll need to make up for a likely bomb in Idaho (WAC), Central Michigan (MAC and at least I didn’t pick Buffalo this year!), and depending on who you listen to a Wake Forest team that’ll tank on me (SI has them at 4-8, but AthlonSports were thumbs up on Wake Forest so I predicted 8-4.).

Unless a few teams melt I will not embarrass myself this year. Yet competence isn’t good enough for this year. I want to win! This is FOOTBALL! In the spirit of this most glorious game I only want total victory!

I love the smell of victory and hamburgers in the morning.

PS: Can someone out there explain to me why Midget Lover picked Vanderbilt IN THE FIRST ROUND!?!? I’m sorry if you’re a ‘Mores fan, but Vandy is a 3-4 win team max. If you’re picking a SEC team in the first round Auburn (my almost #1 pick), LSU, Florida, or Georgia are the teams to pick.

Also very interesting was a move that may prove to be merely the second stupidest move of the day by Father Of The Year: he picked LA-Lafayette out of the Sun Belt in the first round as well. They were 6-5 last year and the only Sun Belt team to finish above .500! I too predict LA-Lafayette to be the pick of the Sun Belt as well this year I believe 7-5 to be reasonable. Yet a First Round pick was wasted on a Sun Belt team and I believe the beer was still running around FOTY’s bald and waterlogged head. I’m not going to share FOTY’s stupidest move of the day since you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I’m serious you would think I made it up.

Ummmm….football is almost back baby!

Keep On Churning Is The Motto Of The Day

I'm just sweeping out the Vast Archieve Of Drafts. Need to clean out the virtual basement so to speak.

Your Power Level is: 62%

You're a very powerful person, and you know that all of your power comes from within. Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals.

How Powerful Are You?

Random Thought Of The Day.

I believe "Atlantia Death Squadron" would be a great name for a garage band.

That is all.

All This Technology And None Of It Freakin' Works!

Two weeks ago roommate Whumpa helped me configure the laptop to access our wireless network. I was a happy camper. However, suddenly my desktop was unable to access our wireless network. That is annoying, especially since the printer is hooked up to the desktop. Despite our best magic wand waving we can't get my desktop to log onto our network. It detects the network. It is configured properly, but it will not log on so the desktop has not internet access. I've been wanting to reformat the hard disk and reinstall all the software for a few months. This incident may finally prove the straw that broke my back.

Yet with a functioning laptop I wasn't too aggravated. Until the wireless card stopped working on Friday that is. Where are my green lights? Why is this card not powering on? Why is Device Manager telling me the device is not functioning properly? I can take the card out and slide it back in. Windows gives me a happy beep that it detects the hardware change. I can uninstall and reinstall the software. Actually I can't reinstall the software completely as Windows states the device is not functioning properly.

I bought the cheapest wireless adapter I could find two years ago. It was nice not having to plug in a cable in class. It was nice to bring my laptop to my parents' house and get some work done. I suppose I can look at this problem from the point of view that $30 or so provided two years of functionality.

Yet now I have NO INTERNET ACCESS!!!

I feel withdrawal symptoms now. The only thing worse is when I haven't had Starbucks, Pepsi, coffee, or any other source of caffeine for a few days. No caffeine and no internet make Brian something something.

In some ways I view this as a positive. Without the temptation of the internet I may get more things accomplished. The biggest downside is sometimes I need my email as the information I require is online. *cough directions to the college draft party cough* Don't expect much blogging from me until I get more regular access or speedy replies to your emails. Thankfully our wonderful public library system has free internet access. I can plug (yes plug in a wire as some people still do that) into their networks and send out the emails I need and catch up on a few important things.

If anyone needs me please call.

Dibs On Saturn.

Mine, all mine. Precious, so precious.

You Should Rule Saturn

Saturn is a mysterious planet that can rarely be seen with the naked eye. You are perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, you don't always follow the rules of nature. And like Saturn, to really be able to understand you, someone delve beyond your appearance. You are not an easy person to befriend. However, once you enter a friendship, you'll be a friend for life. You think slowly but deeply. You only gain great understanding after a situation has past.

What Planet Should You Rule?

Balance Is Good.

Swiped from Athena's Mom.

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Could A Lawyer Be Totally Honest?

I think not. Masters of spin. No wonder politicians are often lawyers.

You Are Somewhat Honest

You do tend to tell the truth a lot But you also stretch the truth on occasion You figure a little lie isn't a big deal As long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much!

How Honest Are You?

"You Certainly Have Unique Background Experience For A Lawyer."

Yes I do. Which is why I would be perfect for this job.

If only you could be THAT bold with answers in an interview. Perhaps if that wasn't the first sentence to come from the interviewer maybe I could have gotten away with saying that. A 40 minute first interview. That was the longest first interview I ever had.

On the plus side I emailed my resume in Wednesday, received a call today, and will interview tomorrow. Suddenly my schedule is busy.

When Animals Attack.

It wasn't Jaws, but a 4 foot long sturgeon slapped a jetski rider off his personal watercraft. That's a scary thought. You're cruising along minding your own business and a 200 lb fish leaps out of the water to hit you. Maybe the fish wanted to go for a ride.

On second thought humans have a poor environmental record. The animals may finally be getting organized. Watch out for the critters. They're coming for us.

So I Crashed The Governor's Ball.

I came close at least. The story on the radio told me about the governor's mansion being open to the public to show off the new renovations. You know how much I love a good home tour. The Meridian-Kessler neighborhood is one of the ritziest in town. Big houses, real slate tile roofs, lots of yard, and lots of money! This would be my one chance to see the gov's house. Very unlikely I'll ever be a big wig political donor or elected to the office so I say see it now while the paint is still drying.

I thought something wrong as I walked by all the parked cars. Some were typical mainstream Fords, Buicks, Subaru, and other ordinary cars. The rest were Porsche, Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, and other assorted luxury cars. Joe Ordinary doesn't drive those types of cars. Then I saw the nice lady in the little black dress. It was a nice dress and nice woman. I was dressed up in Dockers and my brown shoes, but I don't think I was where I was supposed to be.

The state police troopers were very nice and courteous. One explained tonight was a private party (fundraiser I'm betting), but he offered to double check on when the public tours were. I felt bad for causing him to inquire about my petty mistake. He was a party of the security force and had better things to do than deal with me.

PS: according to this article $10 donations are asked for future renovations.

If you're in town and want to see the new renovations the Gov's place is open 11-5 Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I might do that Friday or Sunday. I think a sign said no cameras though. I bet security doesn't want exact pics showing the layout of the place. Tis a dangerous world out there.

Leave No Trace

Conundrums, conundrums. For nearly 2 years now I've pondered the public nature of this blog. An online search for me, personally, will result in Confessions being found. You hear stories about employees being fired (dooced) for having a blog fairly often. Can a blog prevent you from being hired in the first place? An anonymous commenter recently noted perhaps yes. Having already heard stories like that I like to think I'm smarter than the 20-somethings who documented their lewd, drunken, drug taking, illegal, legal but in bad taste behavior.

However I am not a politically correct blogger nor am I someone of weak opinions. I will use bad language and extreme satire to call it like I see it. I don't fear the taboo subjects because the only way to explore them was to talk about them. I'll also blog about topics that interest at best a small group of friends, at worst no one but myself.

Or at least I used to.

Confessions, like most blogs, is the public face of the writer. Yet it only shows a very limited aspect of me. Sometimes you get the shallow layers; sometimes you get the deeper ones. No matter how good my writing is, it will ultimately be flawed. I take that back. The writing will ultimately be limited by the constraints of a text based medium. In other words it is too easy to take the wrong idea from my posts. I can't control what other people think, and I don't get a chance to follow up.

For the past year I've taken so few risks here. I worry what others would think of my posts. Not the others I know. I don't care what you think. You already know me. The unknown people who find me on a casual internet search. That I do care about. My offbeat sense of humor doesn't always translate well. If I have deep thoughts that scares people. Not my thoughts personally, but I've noticed audiences tend to shy was from deep ponderings, taboo subjects, and substantive (non-political) topics. (Get politics into the mix and people won't shut up about it.) Can we be honest: human beings tend to be shallow creatures.

I digress.

First I attempted to make Confessions ungoogleable (new word I just invented). I did that and it removed this blog from a few other search engines. However plenty of other search engines work fine. Conclusion: moderate success.

Second get the blog delinked from a very public blog. That occurred and traffic died down a little bit. I noticed I got more traffic from other blogs. Conclusion: hey I was delinked so mission accomplished.

Yet in the end you can't take a public blog and make it anonymous. Instead of the stealth of run silent, run deep the best I could hope for is under the radar. These past few weeks I've been flying under the radar. I find it unsatisfactory. I'm craving the shield of anonyminity.

Others use that shield to mercilessly attack, be rude, and to be honest major online assholes. Look at the law school blog comments for confirmation of that. Anything over 25 comments is littered with vapid personal attacks of an intellectual wasteland. I often wondered, "These are my future co-workers???" Since I'm not seduced by the dark side I view the shield as creative freedom!

Over these past three years I've received feedback that I was a phenomenal blogger, a strong blogger, an insightful blogger, a powerful blogger, and "the best damn writer I've ever fuckin' seen man." I long for those days where I can be me again. I long for the days where I can call it like I see it. I long for the days where I could write 6 paragraphs on the simplest of pleasures because I saw a deeper meaning to it.

I don't believe I can have that freedom being public. Right now I'm vulnerable to EVERYTHING! I wish I could say that was an exaggeration, but it isn't. No job, no money, no health insurance, no way to solve even the simplest of problems. Am I vulnerable to a paranoid employer who is afraid a blogging employee would spill the beans on an assignment? Am I vulnerable to a misinformed employer about who and what bloggers are? Am I vulnerable to other people's misconceptions? Am I vulnerable to a supervisor thinking, "Oh geez we don't want this person to be our public persona and ruin our reputation!"

The answer is YES I AM VULNERABLE!!!

Which leads me back to my original point: I'm not writing about the things I want to write about in the manner I wish to write them. I DO NOT want this post to come out as some sort of plea. I'm simply sharing my thoughts. Some of my readers have been with me a long time. I know many of you do care about me so I'm willing to share. However, the reality is Confessions is dying. For the past 4 or 5 months I've wondered if I should let it die.

I'm not saying I'm quitting blogging. Perhaps I've already created an anonymous blog and I'm enjoying myself there. Perhaps I merely have plans for another blog. Perhaps I want to take a blogging sabbatical and let the deeper well replenish itself. Perhaps I want to blog only once or twice a week with quality posts instead of generating meaningless daily posts just to keep the readership up with an active blog. I've concluded that it isn't a matter of if Confessions will die, but only when.

If you wish to know where I set up shop again, let me know in the comments. I’ll email you when I’m willing to share. Does anyone know how to transfer these posts to an offline storage medium like a CD? I would like to keep the posts around.

This ship hasn’t sailed for the final time yet. Regardless you might want to buy the last tickets soon.

Why Parents Need To Ensure Their Kids Learn In School.

I am not telling these stories to make fun of people. I am telling these stories because I fear the consequences our society will bear unless this nonsense of our own stupidity gets fixed soon.

The modern cash register at a Taco Bell is not hard to operate. With few exceptions you press the button for the item being ordered. The register figures out the total price and it will figure out the correct change. Teenagers with minimal training operate the things. How hard can it be?
One person (I give a 60% chance of being female, but it was really hard to tell.), a family of four, and myself were in the line. The first person and the cashier took forever to order. At first I though she(?) was simply talking to the cashier. I think the first person came back twice to fix something. Yet the cashier never appeared flustered. I simply couldn't tell what they were doing or saying. Finally the family of four started to order. The mom was at the end of their line and I knew something was horribly wrong. The mother was saying things about the order. Five people in line ahead of me and eight minutes later I still hadn't ordered. At that point I left. I went to the McDonald's across the street. From inside MickeyD's I could still see the mother and cashier doing...whatever it was they were doing.

It was early morning in the McDonald's. Only 5 customers were inside. Aside from the drive-thru it wasn't busy at all. "Hey your buttons are different than ours," the cashier yelled to the manager. Oh this can't be good. We were the only people in line and it still took 5 minutes to get breakfast. I had to go back for the hash browns and the utensil pack.

Is anyone else concerned when the minimal skilled jobs lack minimally qualified people to perform them?

Back Home Again In Indiana.

No I'm not going to break out into a Jim Nabor's voice to sing the song.

Is there a better feeling than finally sleeping in your own bed?

I Can't Blame The Hotel For These Problems.

A pretty large family reunion went on here Saturday and part of Sunday. They had the ballroom next to our seminar. We were continuously treated to either: a D.J., the family singing a song, or grandma singing a hymnal. O.M.G! Frequently our speaker had to stop her lesson to let them finish. We, the audience, kept laughing at the situation, but I'm pretty sure all were getting cranky at the situation. The problem was the foldable wall between our ballrooms. It wasn't real solid and tight so sound easily traveled. Do you have singing at your family reunions?

On the other hand can I blame the parents for letting the children run amok with the elevators? Based on their behavior I wonder if some of them have ever seen an elevator before. Taking the elevator one floor is a pet peeve of mine. Our room is on the seventh floor and sometimes it took over 5 minutes to reach it. Watching all 3 elevators crawl one or two floors at a time wasn't fun. (If we had breaks longer than 10 minutes I wouldn't care, but only one set of restrooms is on the first floor and all 3 ballrooms were booked. It made sense sometimes to hit your room for the bathroom. This was a huge flaw when my room rejected my entry card.)

The free wireless connection is a bit spotty in our room. It takes until 7pm for the cleaning service to clean our rooms. Can I just say I'm not very impressed with this hotel?

Sitting in a seminar all day for 3 days reminds me of bar review. Various speakers discussing various subjects, the room is way too hot or way too cold, with hard and uncomfortable chairs. Yep, just like bar review.

With luck I'll discuss the Adventures Of The Hafbrauhaus next time.

I Can't Tell Which Is The Right Building.

Baby, if you've ever wondered,
Wondered what ever became of me.
I'm living on the air in Cincinnati,
Cincinnati WKRP.

Got kind of tired of packing and unpacking
Town to town - Up and down the dial.
Maybe you and me were never meant to be,
But, baby, think of me once in a while.
I'm at WKRP in Cincinnati

I realize it was only a TV show, but they showed a few key buildings in the credits and outdoor shoots. Then again the skyline has really changed since the late 70's. Perhaps the building has been demolished, or something new is blocking the view. Oh well it was only to amuse myself that I wanted to spot some Hollywood trivia. I'm easily amused.

If I spot a rerun I still love that show. It was pretty funny.

A Room With A View...

...of an interstate and a big neon "Liquor" sign. Personally I was hoping for a nice view of the river and skyline. Perhaps a nice view of the rolling Kentucky hills would be a nice second choice. No. The Old Man and I have a view of the interstate. The hotel our seminar is in has interesting archietectural designs. It looks like a large corncob in faded pastel pink and concrete.

Still, it has an indoor pool and the lower lobby is supposedly nice. I believe the gym is down there as well. The 18th floor has a revolving restaurant alledgedly as well. The immediate area is mostly gas stations, fast-food, and liquor stores, but the Mom & Pop pizza joint we grabbed dinner from was FAB-U-LOUS! The decor was trash, but the pizza was umm-umm good.

By my WAG we're only 1.5 to 2 miles from the fabled Hafbrauhaus we went to in early March. (I can't believe I didn't type a post about the trip itself. Just getting the drunks home was worth several quotes. ) Good German beerhalls are treasures. Hopefully Old Man and myself can grab dinner there tonight. I'll try to convince it it's fine until the trendy college crowd hits it.

I didn't realize the Bangels and Reds' stadiums were so close to each other. Pehaps next year I'll swing down to Cincy to catch a ball game. Are the Reds any good or do they stink?

Time for a quick nap before our afternoon session.

Friday Quotes:

No growth without assistance. No action without reaction. No desire without restraint.
- Li Mu Bai (played by Chow Yun-Fat) - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Linkage

Braingirl from Hoosiers Ate My Brain has a very good post on unsafe crowds at city events. I agree with her post 100%. Pay a visit and please share your thoughts. I'm very interested in what people have to say.

This Is Why Dogs And I Get Along.

I wouldn't say I'm a dog whisperer, but my friends have notice I seem to have magical powers concerning dogs. They find me. They often like me. It always breaks my heart when I see a dog wondering around. Cats we should run over if possible.

You Are: 70% Dog, 30% Cat

You and dogs definitely have a lot in common. You're both goofy, happy, and content with the small things in life. However, you're definitely not as needy as the average dog. You need your down time occasionally.

Are You More Cat or Dog?

Lassie Goes To The State Fair.

Lassie is going to be in town at the State Fair on Saturday. Sweet. Who wouldn't want to meet Lassie? Where will Lassie be? The Humane Society booth from 9am to 1pm. That's logical.

I think the fuzzball MacGyver knew what I was talking about. I was reading the article to Mom and MacGyver headbutted my knee. Silly dog.

May No One Die Tonight.

For those not in the area, Indy has been hit with several waves of violent murders this year. Within the past week 13 people were murdered with more seriously injured. One in an alley behind a nightclub. One or two were in their stopped car at a stoplight when someone walked up from a few cars back and stuck a gun in through the window. Saturday night seemed to be a roving firefight throughout downtown between individuals in a story of revenge. A few months ago a family of 7 was murdered by someone looking for drug money.

I don't have the energy now to put down my thoughts. Hopefully I can work little bits and pieces over the next few days until this fever passes. Right now I was happy when the 5 o'clock news did not start with a shooting, but with a penguin car accident. [EDIT 8-9-2006: Don't get me wrong. I'm not happy the penguins died. I was merely happy that no one was murdered during the day. It gets very exhausting to see news report after news report about people killing each other. People don't value human life and all these recent stories are a cumulation of 30 years of bad policies.] Yet the past few mornings I turn on the TV and wonder how many died overnight. People shouldn't have to think such thoughts.

As for now, if you're a teenage to 30 year old black male, you might want to stay home for awhile. Too many guns are aimed at you.

Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken.

Normally people climb on top of mountains and seek wisemen to get this stuff. I'll give to you for free.

*Roommate Whumpa upon seeing my return from the store.*
You got toilet paper?
We were down to one spare roll and I'm a firm believer in you can never have too much backup toilet paper.

*Roommate Whumpa after grabbing some lunch supplies from the fridge.*
Some of these strawberries aren't looking good.
Don't worry I'll separate the bad ones from the good ones.
*I take the strawberries out of the fridge.*
WHOA! Aren't Iran and Syria paying for weaponized versions of this?

Stupid Death Germ.

Over the past few days I've been fighting something, but today is the worst day so far. I feel fine for a time. I worked out this morning and had lunch with a friend. As soon as lunch was finished I felt as if the battery was yanked out of my back. Advil helps a bit, but I feel like I ran the mini-marathon again. I've had no go-go juice since lunch. Good night folks. Stay away from me in case I'm contagious.

8/8/2006 - The Morning After.
I know it is early August, but I put an extra blanket on the bed last night. The past few years I've adopted a burn the germs out of my body philosophy. It seems to help when I'm very sick. Last winter I had a cold and turned up the electric blanket overnight. The next morning I was soaked in sweat, but felt fine. I'm hoping the extra heat helped with whatever bug I've had the past few days.

Here's the funny thing: I have no real symptoms other than exhaustion and a major breakout of the sweats last night. I'm not coughing, sneezing, drooling, sniffling, or anything else associated with a cold or flu. I have energy until I work out. NOTE TO SELF: skip the workout today.

I hate days where nothing gets done. Yet I've been awake for 2 hours, had 2 cups of coffee, and I'm still tired. Tired, but not exhausted. I'll take the improvement. I'll take a nap and see if I feel better this afternoon.

I Am An Average American.

Oh how quaint. Because I have no time to come up with something original you get yet another lame online quiz!!!

You Are 40% "Average American"

You are average because you rate your appearance 5 or higher. You are not average since you do make New Year's resolutions.

How "Average American" Are You?

That Kentucky Heritage Slips In Sometimes

Because I have no time to come up with something original you get yet another lame online quiz!!!

Your Linguistic Profile::

55% General American English

20% Dixie

10% Yankee

5% Midwestern

5% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

William The Explorer & Legal Eagle.

I don't know much about my family history. My paternal grandmother was into genealogy a bit and my father had a family tree posted on the office wall when I was growing up. I thought we arrived in the United States sometime in the 1880s. It appears I was extremely incorrect.

My dad is in possession of a pocket watch. I never saw this watch before. According to family lore he got it from his grandfather who got it from his grandfather. (I believe that would be my great-great-great grandfather.) Supposedly the ancestor, William, either had the watch when he went to the California gold rush or upon his return from California he brought the watch with him.

I guess my father got on the internet and managed to confirm the story. He showed me a printout. William with the watch was born in 1828, and went to California in 1852 via oxen teams. William returned to Indiana in 1859 via Panama steamer and railroad. Politically he was a Whig, a Douglas Democrat, and then a staunch Republican when elected Justice of the Peace (no evidence he had any formal legal training).

The same article described William's father, also named William. I had to read the article three times before I figured out it was describing two different Williams. Elder William, my great-great-great-great grandfather, was born in 1780 in Pennsylvania. In 1808 he started on foot to Ohio. Elder William served the United States during the War of 1812. He secured a land warrant in Iowa and eventually moved to Indiana in 1832. He died in 1862.

I have a relative who served in the War of 1812??? The historian in me is curious about his father. Was he a German immigrant who arrived in Pennsylvania during the Revolutionary War? Was he one of those Hussein mercenaries the British employed. Was he already established in Pennsylvania and a Tory. Perhaps he fought for independence or didn't care either way. It amazes me my family is as old as the country.

Everyone comes from somewhere. Everyone has a collective familial past. It seems my family did some interesting things. Even my mom's family invented the vending machine. I wonder what else we've done.

Friday Quotes: The MacGyver Edition*

A paperclip can be a wondrous thing. More times than I can remember, one of these has gotten me out of a tight spot.

*MacGyver as in the television show who was played by Richard Dean Anderson. Not MacGyver the dog.

This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.

Oh Fabulous Kelly P, Keith needs THIS!

"Try to imagine the motorcycle that Bill Murray's classic "Caddyshack" character Carl Spackler would ride." Oh that would be sweet. Even better Orange County Choppers (OCC) of the hit TV show American Chopper built it.

The article isn't clear if episode 1 was this Monday or this upcoming Monday. Episode 2 is the following week as always.

"The result includes a pitchfork over the rear tire, grass clippers where wheel spinners might be and a painting of a gopher that's square in a rifle's sights." Sounds outrageous eh?

"The bike was auctioned at the sixth annual Murray Bros. Caddyshack Charity Golf Tournament in St. Augustine, Fla., in May. The tournament has raised more than $1 million for [charity]." The highest builder was Bill Murray himself. Dude inspires the bike and it should be his."

I love that show. It is so addicting to watch.




"License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote."

This Feels Like A Bad West Wing Episode.

This story is so confusing. Let me see if I have it right.

Embattled Republican Representative Tom DeLay resigned from the House on June 9th. He won his primary battle a few months before he resigned. The Texan is currently living in Virginia waiting for his trial in Texas on money laundering and conspiracy charges. Because DeLay had moved, the Texas GOP tried to remove DeLay as the party nominee.

"Republicans want to pick another nominee to face Democrat Nick Lampson in November. Democrats sued to keep DeLay on the ballot. Keeping him on the ballot presumably gives them an easier race and bolsters their attempts to make the indicted former House majority leader their symbol for claims of Republican corruption."

The 5th Circuit of Appeals affirmed a trial court ruling that DeLay's name must stay on the ballot. Here's the reasoning: "While the U.S. Constitution requires a candidate to live in-state, the question is where he is residing on Election Day, not now, said the three-judge panel of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. "DeLay could be a current resident of Virginia ... and nonetheless move back to Texas before November," the opinion said. . . . If DeLay withdraws from the race — rather than being declared ineligible — by law Republicans could not replace him with another candidate." His wife still lives near Houston.

I'm very imaginative, but I'm also very pragmatic. The pragmatist in me is saying the underlying and penultimate issue is unresolved: where does somebody live? By the Court's reasoning DeLay could reside in Virginia from now until Election Day and never reside in Texas yet remain on the ballot. If that occurs you've just cheated the Texas voters out of having a choice on Election Day.

Perhaps the ruling is a sound application of election law, yet if that is true then the law is bad in my opinion. As a voter I like having choices. From a political perspective anyone jumping in to replace DeLay has an uphill battle due to time constraints. Fundraising and campaigning on such short notice wouldn't be easy, but that is a practical penalty for replacing a candidate. However a voter would have two choices for his vote. We're a democracy, not Cuba. Our political process idependentnt upon having the right to choose who represents us.

The Texas GOP will attempt an appeal the the Supreme Court. When do they get back in session?

Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager

DrunkenIrishMan found the first episode. I discovered Episode 2 exists. Safe for work except for the fact you're using work resources to goof off. Therefore just waste your home internet resources when you get home.

George Lucas forgot to tell us the stories of the Man In Black's little brother.

I Want The Chair.

I consider this poetic given that GenCon is coming to town next week. (No I'm not going. I've never been to GenCon.) Christie's auction house currently has a display of 40 years worth of Star Trek memoriabilia. Starship models, props, uniforms, and a replica of the original series Captain's chair. Next Tuesday the collection will do a four city tour and be auctioned in New York on October 5th.

Oh Elaine are you going?

The French Are Back In The Cafeteria!

Do you remember this story? The French government wouldn't back the United States in a preemptive war against Iraq. In protest someone had the idea of renaming French Fries and French Toast into Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast at the Capital Hill cafeterias.

Oh yes that showed the French how much we despised them. Anyway the French Fries are finally back on the Hill. Roommate Whumpa wondered how much taxpayer money was spent on reprinting the menus then and now. Personally I'm hoping it was only the lettering on a board where the letters are clipped on. That would be a much cheaper waste of taxpayer money.

If Congress truly wanted to let the French government know how we felt they did it the wrong way. Renaming French Fries into Freedom Fries. Puh-lease! How lame is that. Next time we're sending Chuck Norris to Paris.

When It's Hot! Hot! Hot!

6:57 am and it was already 77 degrees.

Yesterday they were saying it is 92 degrees with a heat index of 105. How much solar energy and humidity does it take to feel like 105 freakin' degrees!?!?

How did humanity live without air conditioning?

I Love This Song.

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers "She's a lover, baby, and a fighter Shoulda seen it comin' when it got a little brighter With a name like "Dani California" Day was gonna come when I was gonna mourn ya A little loaded she was stealin' another breath I love my baby to death"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?