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Monday, July 19, 2004

Don't Make Me Break Out The Gator On You!

I couldn't make this up if I tried:
 
Man accused of hitting girlfriend with alligator
July 19, 2004
PORT ORANGE, Fla. -- A man is facing charges of battery and possession of an alligator after he hit his girlfriend with one of the animals during an argument in the couple's mobile home, authorities said.
 
Why is it always a mobile home that is involved in stories like this?
 
Nancy Monico, 39, told investigators that David Havenner, 41, beat her with his fists, then grabbed the 3-foot alligator and swung it at her as she tried to escape, sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson said. 
 
Of course, using a gator as a club is perfectly reasonable.
 
Monico said the animal hit her at least once. She also told authorities that Havenner threw empty beer bottles at her, Davidson said. 
 
What?  Alcohol was involved?  You have to be kidding me!
 
Havenner's version of the story differed.  He told investigators that Monico bit his hand because she was upset that they had run out of alcohol. 
 
So the gator was used in self-defense then?  Does Florida allow open carry on a gator or is a special license required for conceal carry of the gator?
 
Havenner was scheduled for a bond hearing on misdemeanor charges of battery and possession of an alligator.
 
I wonder what felony possession of the gator would be?  Battery can be bumped up to a felony if deadly enough means are used.  Would you need to swing a larger gator as a club to get felony charges?

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