Per Your Request: The Life Of Brian

Geez Robin (non-Cookie Monster) you actually put TWO requests in one comment! Let's deal with both one at a time.

Part I: Brian's Day.
5am: wake up! What's up with this? The alarm isn't supposed to go off for an hour, but I'm wide awake! ACK! It is fall break and I should be catching up on all the sleep I can get. AND it interrupted a fantastic dream I was having. I normally don't remember most of my dreams, but can I go back to sleep and continue talking with that fantastic redhead please?

8:30am: get to my internship office to see if anything needs my attention. One person on vacation, one in a meeting up in Munster, one MIA, one getting coffee, and the chief is wherever the chief likes to be. After 45 seconds I've determined that I should take an early lunch and get other work done elsewhere as there is nothing for me to do in the office at all.

10am: figure that I could go across the street to the museum and work on an assignment for class. Part of the assignment is to take a tour of the museum!

noon: leave internship and call mom. Mom hasn't had lunch yet and I love a free lunch. I'm a poor student you know!

12:45pm: have lunch with mom at a local pizza place.

1:45pm: until I got into school I never even owned a suit. I currently have two suits and about 4 jackets as my formalwear. I can use a black suit (always good for Blues Brothers or Men In Black costumes...oh and job interviews and stuff like that too I guess) so head over to The Men's Wearhouse. Is TMW a little expensive? Yes, but price is what you pay, value is what you get out. All the stuff from TMW has lots of value. I end up with two suits (black and silver/gray) that I can mix and match for less suity occasions, a light gray/silver and a burgundy shirt (either one of which would meet my fashion consultant Lawren's approval), brown belt, brown shoes, and one real classy tie! This is my Christmas and birthday present according to my mom and I'm fine with that. Sometimes a lawyer needs to look like a lawyer! I have to admit that when I did have the shoes and one suit on for the tailor to figure out the measurements to trim that looking in the mirror I went, damn I look good!

3pm: mom and I drop by the grandparental units to see how they are doing.

4pm: at mom's house and start paying bills before they become overdue. I've been finding bills and stuff the last few days and some were a tad late. *sigh* I just haven't been at home much these past 6 weeks. I used to be pretty organized financially. *sigh*

4:45pm: driving home and my treasurer informs me she has secured a guest speaker. She's also acquired a checking account for the society so we're finally joining the big leagues as a club! My treasurer works hard for me and I appreciate that.

5:15pm: see the responses to my requestline and notice there is a lot of fury, but not much requesting! Start post.

Part II: Most Embarrassing Moment?
I have so little pride it's hard to be embarrassed anymore, much less have most embarrassing moment! Anytime I'm playing football? That should count. There are too many to choose from!

• High school bandroom where I'm giving instructions to the tuba section on how to do something and one of the new guys decides to pull down my shorts. I still remember having my finger pointing at something and looking down to realize what has occurred. Have I ever mentioned how rambunctious tuba players tend to be? Oh, luckily it was ONLY the shorts and not everything else.
• I thought I read the signals right. We're in Hawaii, the cool night breeze is blowing off the ocean, and tiki torches are lit. It appears one of the hottest saxophone players is coming onto me. Then I tried to kiss her and was sent 3 feet backwards from her fist. Did I mention that baritone sax players tend to be pretty strong from having to hold up their instruments on the field?
• Contrabasses are the shoulder-mounted tubas. With all the tubing you would think the right side of your head is protected from everything. A flag found the one gap in all the tubing that would allow her pole to whack me. I fell to the ground so fast you would have thought a big metal pole hit my head. Oh wait a second, it did! Nothing like having 300 people looking at you and wondering what happened as I'm gasping for air wondering where I was.
• My first introduction to alcohol was Everclear and I'm not even going there.
• The roommate is gone for the weekend, the candles are lit, some soft music is on, the coffin is full of interesting things, this chick from my calculus class is with me, and we have the best $5 bottle of wine my 21 year old friend can buy. Why is my floor counselor (who knows I'm in my room), my buddy down the hall, and my other buddy down the hall all knocking on my door? Don't they know what a mood killer being interrupted is?
• The Atlantic Ocean is so big. You would think I should have been able to avoid falling into it. Note to self: when at Southern Most Point on Key West don't decide to clean the sand out of sandals after a rain storm. I was so wet, bruised, bloody, and scraped up I didn't even bother coming up with a lie upon returning to the B&B.
• A perfectly timed sneeze on the conductor's introductory downbeat.
• Okay Tony where did you hide my tuba? I don't know what you're talking about Brian. This thing is almost four feet tall, you don't have too many places in the Hall of Music that you can hide it.
• The problem with dating a 5' tall woman is that she's 10 inches shorter than me so kissing her can be a logistical problem sometimes. If she is a stairstep or two higher than me it helps out tremendously. If she's on level ground then when trying to scrunch down I could loose my balance. Have I ever mentioned that I'm a natural klutz? Luckily she was a med student and figured out that my head was okay after hitting the concrete.
• The problem with wanting to date a woman who is 4'10" is that she's a full foot shorter than me. I try to be a nice guy and didn't want her to strain her neck to talk up to me so I decided to bend my legs enough to be at her level. At which point I'm now sliding into her locker like I'm wanting to steal a base in the World Series. It was worth it, she became my GF after that.
• After 2 plus years at law school I don't think I can be embarrassed anymore!