The Classes We Need

Even though I'm graduating I'm still not impressed with the new class schedule. I need to come back as an Adjunct Professor to teach the classes that would be really interesting to the student body. Based on a series of conversations I had before Spring Break I've come to the following conclusion: law school is good about teaching us the rule of law, how human rights should be protected, how freedom of the press is good for democracy, how governments should be run, etc. What we really need is a class that shows us the loopholes. I present "How To Be A Banana Republic Dictator (BRD)."

In order to be the best you should either learn from the best or learn from their opponents. I would have the most knowledgeable guest lecturers available who know all the problems BRD's face and how BRDs should fix their problems. Two groups of guest lecturers are the most qualified for this assignment.
The A-Team

and MacGyver

If you want to have staying power you need to know how the good guys beat your compatriots. Between The A-Team and MacGyver half of Central and South America fell during the 80's! The BRDs always read from the same book. I will not teach from that book. Between Faceman, B.A., and MacGyver they can show you what the bad guys always did wrong that allowed them to beat BRDs. It's a shame Hannibal died a few years ago. His wisdom would have been invaluable.

You might also learn how sheet metal can stop bullets and how a neutron bomb can be made from an empty tuna can, a rubber band, a shot of whiskey, and a Swiss Army knife.

BRDs need practical skills such as proper torture techniques, weapons qualifications, and how to look pompous in khakis and mirrored sunglasses. My mid-terms would be a killer. I anticipate 30% casualties, but hey you need to learn things properly. The waiver signed at the first class will be most critical to absolve the school and any instructors from liability. I pity da' fool who didn't pay attention in class.

The final exam is two part: 1, find a drug lord to overpower and get the local population to swear allegiance to you, and 2, don't tick off the international community enough that the President will invade your dictatorship. EXAM HINT: being allies with France will not help you on this last part.

If the BRD class is popular enough, then I can create the "How To Set Up A Banana Republic Judicial System" with Alan Shore and Denny Crane as guest lecturers.

I love it when a plan comes together.