Per Your Request: B.A.T.G.A.

Warning: I've been tinkering with this one for a few days.

I may not do the Requestline anymore as it doesn't get very many responses, but there was one question that greatly intriqued me because I wasn't sure how I was going to answer it. This was one that if I did answer it, it needed to be done right.

Let me get the others out of the way real fast. If you have a wart problem go see your doctor for the best solution. She went to med school and she needs to use all that knowledge that got poured into her. No, nothing on me has any names, nicknames, or other atypical identification at all including the toes. I would never say never concerning the viability of a third political party, but I don't see it happening anytime soon so we're stuck with the Republicrats for now.

What do I look for in a woman? I'm assuming Anon meant that in a relationship context. Umm, that is a good question actually. What we are dealing with are two standards that are the same thing: the permanent Confessions spokeswoman which boils down to a B.A.T.G.A. standard of review (Best Alternative To Gillian Anderson). Gillian if, by whatever major miracle, you happen to be Anon call me.

1. Brains. Oh Brian you are just saying that! No I am serious. Intelligence is a major, if not the most important, turn-on a woman can have. Someone who can keep up her end of a conversation is someone to be treasured. Talking with each other is ultimately the number one activity, timewise, two people will do with each other. Intelligence is great because it is so stimulating. It might even lead to other stimulating things. No, not just the obvious play on words, but experiencing music, plays, or idle conversation debating the merits of a movie you just saw. I'm not talking about sheer IQ points, but about having a brain and using it. Conversations are so nice to have (I guess communication ties into this point). The day I thought up the name 'CabbageHead' for my GF when I was 16 was a profound moment. Why that name you ask? Talking with her or talking with a head of cabbage produced the same results! What moron said that guys don't make passes at women who wear glasses?

2. Willing to be more than what you are now. People are meant to grow and experience new things. Whether that is deciding to get a high level graduate degree, wanting to learn how to paint landscapes using watercolors, taking a class in conversational Spanish, crawling through a neighborhood home tour that you've never been to, jumping out of a perfectly good airplane with a parachute, we are not meant to be stagnant. I am growing all the time. If someone is with me she'll need to grow too, or the journey won't be as fun.

3. Explorative. This ties into the first two in some ways. Being willing to explore things. Whether a new country, a new restaurant, that left turn on the trail, a new play, or trying out something you read about the other day. I guess it really means have a sense of curiousity about things and the confidence and willingness to explore your curiousity.

4. "We defend each other." Loyalty and Trust. They are two interrelated concepts really. Once you have a degree of trust there should be a sense of loyalty. Not blind loyalty, but a sense of faith in the other person. It is okay to disagree. It is okay to try to change a mind. Sometimes you have to back the play even if you think it is wrong though. Odds are sooner or later I'll do something stupid, usually sooner. Please just back me long enough on the play until I figure out I was wrong. Oh and please don't say "I told you so!" These concepts work both ways though. I've been in relationships where I was trusting and loyal, yet the other person didn't uphold her end of the bargain. You have to let me back your play sometimes too.

5. Touch. I love the human sense of touch! It can be comforting in times of need, the simple holding of a hand. It can provide pleasure such as leaning into someone else when watching the movie that was rented from BlockBuster. A single touch can change a mood so quickly, whether the holding of hands, the back massage, a gentle kiss of the lips, the resting of a head upon a shoulder. This is one of the few times I really am touchy-feely. I simply don't understand women who aren't. Maybe it goes back to a sense of trust and an unwillingness to allow yourself to open up a little, an inability to let yourself be vulnerable to someone within your personal space?

While there are other personality traits that I love if I get those five in a relationship I'll be perfectly happy. I'm a rather flexible person in that way. With those five foundational bricks, I believe the rest can take care of itself with a little effort on both our parts. Besides I need to end this post sometime! Umm...Brian you never mentioned things like tall, short, blondes, redheads, etc. You're right I didn't. Do I have physical preferences? Yes, we all do. We're very visually oriented creatures and there will be certain outward traits that interest us. Yet physicality may be an initial interest, it isn't a sustaining one. What I consider beautiful is not solely the province of the physicality, it is combined with the inner light of personality, soul, and the interaction with me. Done right all I need is a pretty smile. Besides, I really need to stay away from redheads. Third time is the charm my...