What Is Past Is Also Present

A recent post got me to thinking about my days in high school. I pulled out a dusty memory book that had my senior year in it. In it were things that seemed so important to me at the time: newspaper clippings about football and basketball games, ticket stubs from field trips, factoids about the school and the events that we did, a few school newspaper clippings that mentioned me, notes and messages from those who signed my memory book, lots of pictures (which luckily had names written in the back to help me remember who some of these people were), and a few writings. Yes, Confessions is merely a new interpretation of an old tradition I've had. At least it seems that way to me.

I wrote those words when I was 17. I was in total amazement after I read them. If I gave some of the writings to people to look at, would they know it was me that wrote them just by reading them? Some of the phrasing was incredibly similar to how I phrase things now. The themes appeared as if I had written them yesterday here instead of there in the far past. It was so incredibly odd to have a 17 year old me speaking to the current me through those old words.

Lately many of us have had discussions on how we've changed over the past few years. Things such as getting married, having children, going to school and seeing the world through legal blinder now, and other things. I am a poor observer of myself. I don't believe I have changed substantially these past two years, but if there are any subtle changes my classmates or my non-school friends will have to tell me of any differences. I'll initially disbelief anything said to be honest.

Yet there I was then in black ink and paper, the same as I am now on this electronic medium. In some ways I find it unsettling because it asks questions I can't answer. Am I the same now as I was then because my core personality and value system hasn't changed? If that is the question I can accept that. I like to think that I am basically a good man despite my numerous flaws. Or is the question(s) truly this one, why are things still the same? Have I not learned the lessons of the past? Do I have systematic flaws that keep me bound to my past? If that is the question, then I wonder about many things now.

I hope I was simply a wise 17 year old.