No One Tells Me These Things.

I like to pride myself that I am an educated person, but I also like to learn new things. What were things that I learned this summer that just totally threw my warped little mind into a loop?

1. I always thought those little rainbow colored stickers on cars or flags on houses were were artistic things bought by people who were happy and lovers of the arts. That may yet still be true, but it appears those rainbow stickers are representative of people that are gay or supporters of gay rights. Who knew? No one tells me these things! Thanks Chuck, now I see entire neighborhoods in a completely different light.

2. The 5 minute conversation that resulted in this tidbit will likely be one of the most interesting of my life. I always thought going to the restroom was a simple thing. Men can stand, but women need to sit. The reason why is simple, men have the equipment to aim forward, while woman lack such equipment and require a gravity assist. What I didn't know is that woman also use toilet paper for the front end as well as the rear. She looked at me like I was a moron when I didn't understand her comment about not being able to pee due to a lack of toilet paper. To the best of my knowledge the conversation went something like this:

Brian, think about it.
[Confused and bewildered look on face] I'm just not seeing why you need TP for a liquid problem. Solid, of course, but not liquid.
We just have gravity! You guys can aim!
Yes, and we're damned proud of that ability. Still I don't see why you need TP to go pee! [At this point I'm sensing there is an different level of experience here resulting in the inability to communicate. The communication is becoming rather circular in reasoning at this point.]
You guys can get the hose going forward. For us, it gets a little moist down there because we can't project and we need to clean up!
[At this point remember the physics involved between the surface tension of a liquid and a solid, but convex shaped, surface.] You get moist??? Okay, this makes some sense now. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?
Brian you're [X] years old. How do you not know that woman need TP to clean up afterwards?
In those [X] years, when I have I ever lived with a female besides my mother? Do you think my mom is going to explain to me how women pee? No, she just wanted to make sure I was potty trained and since I can project I don't require a clean up afterwards! I don't have that personal experience. It's not like I'm following chicks into the lady room and seeing how they function differently. It's not like this stuff was covered in health class. I think the teacher already assumed everyone knew how to go to the bathroom for themselves. All that good info we got taught was just to make sure we were scared off sex and potty training wasn't involved of any of it.
Alright Brian I see your point, but I still need to pee and there is no TP!

It's amazing how men and women don't even know the simple things about each other. This was going to the bathroom, not something complex like pregnancy! It is examples like this that demonstrate the poor communication skills and knowledge sets between the sexes. Now I wonder what other things women do that makes perfect sense to them, but would befuddle men because we have no physical need to perform such a task? No one tells me these things!