Get Me Away From This Hellish Date

Those of you expecting me to wax on about the romanticism of this day are going to be disappointed. I don't like Valentine's Day actually. So, this is all you'll get for the holiday.

For those who are going out for a Valentine's Day dinner I hope you have no need for this service. Normally you just have a wingperson give you a prearranged call so you can escape a date. I've been that wingperson sometimes. Now it has gone professional. Is this service included in my minutes?