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Thursday, December 30, 2004

I Better Get Rid Of That Blond Wig

My Atlas crew had a nice discussion that started with me, or about me depending on your P.O.V., the other day. I didn't get to participate due to my crusin' for shiney sheetmetal. The political leaders of the world NEED to listen to us as we've solved most of the world's problems already. We already have President Bush's ear as John Ashcroft monitors our communications. I will not share all the good stuff, but you need to realize a few things:

1. We're all tight with each other. We can and will insult each other at will.
2. Political Correctness is not in our vocabulary.
3. We can analyze any problem due to our varied skill set. We have lawyers, engineers, MBA people, teachers, and even liberal arts graduates! Oh yeah one crazy ass blogger sometimes contributes as well.
4. Our political spectrum is *cough* varied. Our gambit runs from Attila the Hun to bleeding heart liberals.
5. Our thought process is convoluted due to our ability to analyze the problem from every angle.
6. No you're not invited. Atlas is our clubhouse.
7. Names have been redacted to protect the guilty, the innocent, and everyone else.


DrunkenIrishman: Y'know, I have never seen [me, your host] and Ann Coulter in the same room.... [Ed. I have no idea what prompted his original thought, but me, Ann Coulter, and a kiddie pool full of jello in the same room could be fun]
Pillar of Hoosier Centrism: I don’t know, that sort of ideological throat stuffing sounds more like [Dr. SAB] than [me]. [Moi] likes diversity, just not in the legislature.
Dr.SAB: I celebrate diversity. I love experiencing different cultures. But if you kill other people, especially MY people, over your "diversity"...I'll smoke your ass. I mean I will unrepentantly squash you like a bug. Like the worthless, sub-human slime you are. I will, however, voluntarily group large numbers of people together in those categories.

DrunkenIrishman: They have Al-Jazerra, we have Ann Coulter. Works for me.
JewBoy: Can we trade? We have a couple draft picks we can give up right? Perhaps an undisclosed amount of cash?
DrunkenIrishman: I see it as a wash. All we would be doing is swapping propagandists.
Vampire: I want to know exactly what it would take to get Ann Coulter Vs Michael Moore in the Thunderdome. 2 Self-Aggrandizing Propagandists enter -- 1 Self-Aggrandizing Propagandist leave. Al-Jazeera can televize it on PPV.
Pillar of Hoosier Centrism: You mean Michael Moore hasn’t run away to Canada yet?
Vampire: If you were Canada, would you take him? I'm sure he's like all the other celebrities who threaten to leave to Canada if Bush got elected; full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. You'll notice that a lot fewer of them made that claim this time around. Besides, if he ran away to Canada, who would he make a living attacking? Gary Bettman?
Pillar of Hoosier Centrism: I’m sure he’s headed somewhere without color TV. The world is so much easier when it is black and white. . . . The left now has their Rush Limbaugh, complete with gut. I bet Dubbya sent MM a thank you card for scaring the religious right into voting. Moore is the best thing to happen to the right since Dukakis.

DrunkenIrishman: Well, him and gay marriage. Two best sock puppets the right has ever had.
Vampire: Aah, gay marriage. Bane of Western Civilization. If only they could get Michael Moore to Gay marry somebody himself.....maybe Rush Limbaugh; there'd be an Antichrist both sides could agree on! "Tonight on Fox News, a special expose on how gay marriage is undermining the foundations of society and destroying the institution of marriage. Watch the full report tonight after an all-new 'Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy' only on Fox!"

The sad thing is no one listens to us when we're right. We should just open up our own thinktank and get paid to pontificate white papers. It could double as a comedy tour as well.

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