Miscellaneous Quotes

I haven't had a good quotes post in a long time. Some are things I've said. Some are things said to me. Some are things I've heard or read. WARNING: some of this isn't kid friendly or friendly to you.

Why Mountain Dew Baja Blast is found only at Taco Bell.
"Oh this stuff is great. It's like a fruity liquid crack!"

Timing is always an issue.
"Setting the alarm for 5:30 is one thing. Waking up at 4:30 and not falling back asleep is another."

When referencing why a...ah...spitfire is fun to have as a girlfriend despite all the trouble she gives you.
"A good bitchy woman is like a hand grenade. Toss her at the enemy and watch the fun."

One of the more interesting politically incorrect ways to discuss political correctness.
"Political correctness is the facade pussy-ass liberals use to hide from reality."

You're just going to have to trust me on this one.
"Well, I'm finding more and more people who disgust me. Can I be blamed for that?
Maybe they should stop disgusting me, and I'll stop hating them. Until then..."

"What odd, yet strangely persuasive, logic."

The loan terms are quite reasonable for my friend.
"Look, he has value. We just need to figure out. Only thing I'm coming up with is parting him out like a '67 Chevy. He has a spare kidney and lung. Is that enough to cover his debt on the black market?"

On the beauty of cool summer days.
"Alright I know what you're staring at. Just tell me which you find more appealing, the Harley or the blonde?"

Concerning New Mexico sand from Trinity.
"Oh it is pretty cool and only a little radioactive."

Sometimes you gotta go for food in style.
"I'm hungry. If we go for Taco Bell can we take the hearse?"

"Yeah when we get to the Bell just open the rear door and I'll just rise out."

Concerning the latest toy.
"Oh man, this does smell like grandmother's car."
"Come on, you know this thing was well taken care of. It probably never got above 40 miles an hour."
"Whatever you do, don't park this next to a retirement home."
"A supercharger, I like that idea."

Proper football rituals.
"I need to burp so bad. [pause] BUUURRRRRRRAAAWWWPPPP!"