Confessions Of A Closet Metal-Head

My dark blond curly hair was nearly to my shoulders, yet would never quite reach them. My friend Matt from the drumline asked if Paul and I wanted to hang out at his place for a bit after practice if I were willing to drive him home. That was the way of teenagers, someone got a license and everyone wanted a ride. At Matt's place his bedroom was covered in floor to ceiling, including the ceiling itself with posters. Posters of Dokken, Van Halen, Queensryche, White Snake, Black Sabbath, Def Leppard, and Metallica. Aside from some limited glimpses on MTV and an occassional song that made it onto a radio station I really didn't know any metal. It was a fast, heavy, depressing music that I figured worshiped death or something.

Matt put in a tape of Metallica's And Justice For All. The term 'teen agnst' hadn't been invented yet but the music spoke to me. It had a raw emotional primal power to it. What a perfect reflection for the wild emotions of a teenage man-boy. It had a dark exploration of the depths of our humanity that we ourselves simply didn't know how to articulate yet. The three of us wildly jumped to the music. Matt was the only one who could to the proper hairflick with the head banging as he had straight hair. My curls were too densely packed and Paul's afro would never do the hairflick.

Management had us working on the weekend yet again. As a concession to keep the employees happy we were allowed to bring in stereos and CDs. Our little corner of the production floor was populated with all the metalheads. Every overtime weekend we listened to Van Halen, Queensryche, Ozzy, and Metallica. Metallica's Black and Load albums came to symbolize our constant struggle to find a free weekend where management wouldn't call us in. The push of Lar's drumbeat or Jame's forceful lyrics kept many people away from out little corner.

It has been over 15 years since I first heard their music. They are on their third bassist. They have sold over 90 million albums. They have nearly broken up and yet somehow recorded a new album including an interesting documentary on the making of that album. They destroyed Napster. My hair, though just as dense, is now far shorter yet Metallica still speaks to me know as it did all those years ago. Some of the speaking is a reflection of youthful memories. Some of the speaking is still connects with the powerful emotions that we all possess. As I have matured, they have matured.

I finally saw Metallica for the first time. They need to come to Indy more often than once every seven years. Though perhaps no longer in the zenith of their career, they still have messages to sing and play about. If some of those messages take me back to other times I won't mind the trip in the wayback machine. Our parents had Elvis and The Beatles; I got Metallica. I can live with that. $70 or so for tickets was well worth the price of admission. Metallica knows how to put on a live show. It was the cumulation of a dream for me. Perhaps a small dream, but a dream nonetheless. I have seen my gods of rock in person and worshipped in their temple for a few hours. "We won't leave until you're satisfied." I was satisfied.

Though I still can't do a proper hair-flick.

EDIT:
As Robin noted I didn't provide giddy.
Random Thoughts Of The Concert

• Godsmack would be the headlining act anywhere else. The first hour was fantastic and I'll need to get a few of their CD's.
• I couldn't get the t-shirt I wanted because of sizing issues. The vendor said which shirts he had in my size and noted that 'one is hiding in the corner that you can't see' and asked if if should bring it out for me to look at. The hidden long sleeve black t-shirt with calligraphy styled writing and a dark silver wing design was far cooler than anything else they had. Andy and I just looked at each other and went 'YES!'
• As close as my memory remembers the conversation: Brian if you have an orgasmic experience I'll understand, but let me know first. No, seeing Metallica is not as good as sex, but it might be the best time I've had since the last time I've had sex. Brian's After Concert Note: I'll put it on a top 5 list of best things after sex.
• When security asks you to stop smoking weed just do as she says. I wouldn't have even given the warning. Weed makes you dumb so the second time I enjoyed watching IPD haul you off.
• The center section of the stage rotated in between songs so drummer Lars Ulrich would have different views. You could see the lights of various mixing boards as it rotated. Looked like I was peering into the bridge of the Battlestar Galactica in between songs.
• The Transformer lightset was cool. It's straight! It's angled! It raises and lowers! The only thing it didn't do was slice and dice.
• Interesting mix of crowd. Seemed equal parts 18-21 all the way up into early 40s.
• Sir please put your shirt back on! You're built like me and isn't a good thing!
• Acoustics in Conseco aren't the best, but with Metallica you go for loudness, not clarity, of sound.
• New bassist Robert Trujillo (ex-Ozzy bassist) plays very well, but needs a new stage demeanor. Squating on the floor with you hand 6 inches below your butt just makes you look like a bear in the woods needing a good roll of TP.
• Watching the advertisements between acts. Odd to see ads for the London Symphony Orchestra, Sarah McLaughlin, and Norah Jones at a Godsmack/Metallica show.
• Listening to Nothing Else Matters by cigarette lighter flame!
• In honor of Beavis and Butthead: That which does not suck is cool! Metallica does not suck!
• In honor of Wayne's World: WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!
• Cost of two tickets: $133.20.
• Cost of one beer: $6.
• Cost of cool t-shirt: $38
• Cost of scratching one more thing off the "Things To Do Before I Die List": Priceless